When asked whether or not it was his party's fault that North Korea has been able to build and successfully test their nuclear capabilities, Bush, in his address speech to the world today, admitted that North Korea had signed a peace agreement with no intentions of building these types of weapons, before he was in office. Bush not even smoothly dodged the question when he revealed that when he came into office, his party discovered that North Korea had withdrawn from the agreement and that North Korea was knowingly somewhat of a threat.

Bush also noted in his speech that the war in Iraq is necessary in bringing democracy and peace to Iraq and gaining another ally in the war on terror.

Ok, I just have a couple of questions...

Where's Bin Laden?

Isn't peace established by not invading a country who posed no threat, and, how does invading a country and blowing it all to bits help make America more safe and secure again?

Lastly, I think what's really true here is that Bush is the coward president that he claims Kerry would have been. Think about it... Bush knew North Korea was dangerous but didn't persue them. He knew that Iraq wasn't but invaded it anyway, because it would make him look like a president with balls, a president who makes things happen. Too bad for him, it's just the wrong things.

Thank Heavens!

Airlines are allowing thongs to be worn by passengers once again starting Tuesday.

For the past 6 weeks, airlines have banned the use of thong underwear due to the discovery of a homemade bomb by a middle-eastern man named Achmed Stillbracht. Inside Achmed's suitcase, a very rudamentary bomb was made from toilet paper and paper towel rolls, and leftover bottle rocket gun powder.

"This was not a technological bomb. Mr. Achmed did not use electronic timers or mechanical devices such as a classic 2-hand style watch. He used the tiny string of a thong, the string that runs up and down the butt crack, as a fuse.", one airline representative noted Monday. "This set off red flags and it was then that we realized we should ban thong underwear, and empty toilet paper rolls too.", the airline representative added. Brand new, full rolls of t.p. have been allowed on the plane because it is not believed that passengers can use an entire roll of toilet paper in a flight's time, that is, unless they had Taco Bell the night before.

When presented with the ridiculousness of banning such items, CEO of American Airlines responded, "Terrorists can't blow up our planes when they're fuses are taken away."

Gas prices have finally dropped. The whitehouse said yesterday that the price drop in gas is probably due to the success of the war in Iraq. Bush, grinned and added, "I'm sure glad to see gas prices drop. It takes me a lot of gas to get from my ranch to the whitehouse. Oh and forget about how much gas my private jet and Airforce one use. High gas prices'll break the bank. But seriously folks, I think the price of a gallon is due to the success of the war in Iraq, and that's a goodly thing. Things will only get betterer from here on out. I promise."

One democrat went out of his way to tell this reporter that the recent price drop is due to the upcoming mid term elections. Republicans simply responded, "Horse ****!".

Cheney said he was glad to see the drop as well because, "Our hum-vees and tanks need a lot of gas to patrol Iraq, and when assettes get blown up by suicide bombers, that wastes a lot of gas too."

This reporter is convinced that once mid-term elections are over, gas prices will magically skyrocket to record highs.